Well we are now on day three.. I didn't sleep yet again. I sure wish i could. Its been at least 5 nights now of tossing and turning. I hate it. I bet my nerves would calm down more if I could sleep, and I bet I could sleep more if I could get my nerves to calm down more. Hopefully tonight I will sleep. Out bed is just to big and to empty. I think I should just sleep on the couch because then I would not feel so alone. But on a different note....Yesterday was a little better day until both the girls had a melt down. To be honest I didn't think that it would hit them so soon, but it did. But we managed to get through it. I had my good times and bad times yesterday. I am hoping for a little more good times today but we will see. I have to do laundry today and I really don't want to have to do his laundry! But I have to do get it done at some point and time. I have things that I am trying to do to keep me busy. But everything thing I do just makes me think of you Jake. I know this is what we signed up to do and I know we knew it was coming but it sure doesn't make it any easier. You never realize how much you depend on someone for comfort until they are not around you to give it to you. Talking to Jake makes it easier but harder. Talking on Skype last night about killed me. I didn't think it would be that hard to see you. I hope as the days go by and I see you more on Skype that is gets easier. I worry about how the girls and I are going to do when we don't get to talk to Jake, not sure I am ready for that. I try to take it one day at a time but all I can think about is the big picture. I can't wait till he comes home and I can wrap my arms around him and never let go. But in the line of work Jake chose I'm not sure that is actually going to happen.
Here's to a new day a day that I hope will fly by just like the last two.. Love and miss you Jacob!!
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