All alone

I stole this idea from a good friend of mine...
Yesterday was by far the worst day of my life.. How do you say goodbye to your best friend. The one you go to for everything. Who knows you in and out and can fix everything???? Well I am still trying to figure it out. Yesterday we sent Jake off on his first deployment. He will be gone for a year. And in that year he is going to miss so much. I feel so lost and so alone. Yes I have tons of friends and family who are here willing to do anything they can for me.. But its not the same. They are not Jake. I don't think I have ever cried this much. I will be doing good and then someone asks how I am doing and I lose it all over again. I am trying to be strong for my kids but its hard. Its even worse when your 4 year old walks up to you and says "I miss my daddy, I wanna call him." How do I explain to her that she cant just call and talk to daddy anymore. He have to wait for him to call and talk to us. I'm going to miss being able to text him when I am mad or scared or just plain bored. I will miss his random through out the day phone calls just to say I love you. So no I am not good, I feel like I have a void.. But yes I will make it through this as we all will. We will be a stronger family and couple when this is over. I am going to try my hardest to keep it together not only for my kids but also my husband who has enough on his plate right now.
I am going to use this blog to get out my feelings and maybe help myself cope with this next year a little better.